Tooooday was an awesome birthday party for one of my friends. I got her Best Buy gift card, being the generic gift giver that I am, but a few other kids (around ten-ish) pitched together and got her Rock Band for the PS2. Lucky duck. I wish my friends actually liked me enough to do that. Than again, I guess it would help if I had an actual birthday party once in a while. Or if, you know, if my birthday weren't smack in the middle of the summer when people are off on vacation or anything. Oh, woe is I.

Anyway, there were about 20-30 people and we all sat around and played Guitar Hero and Call of Duty 4 and Halo 3 and then eventually (once it was freed from its horrible wrapping-job) Rock Band. Except that I didn't play any of those because I'm not a FPS fan (and I didn't want to get schooled by the others without ever touching the controller) and for Rock Band and Guitar Hero, I don't know any of the songs and my hand/eye coordination only extends to my ability to play the sax (and even then it isn't very good XD). I'm actually surprised at how mundane our parties are. Whatever happened to "highschool kids always get drunk and high at parties" and such. I mean, I'm sure there are a few kids at our school that do it, but the general idea of a party in our marching band (and in my other circles of friends) is the Guitar Hero, the board games, and copious amounts of food. Could the media be lying to me? Are high school kids really NOT as crazy and reckless and wasted as they make us out to be?!

*gasp*

About five or six kids went swimming, despite the fact that it was raining and a thunderstorm was on. And then I played this game of EXTREME HARDCORE TROUBLE with Gaby and these two other kids (a guy and a girl), where we all kept landing on each other and the guy kept yelling, "Peanut butter! Not again!" I mean, really. Peanut butter? XD It was good stuff.

Then I went home and realized that real life is essentially boring and devoid of all the party fun that exists on weekends. Booo.

The interview was all right. The guy was apparently also in the Harvard marching band, which made "connecting" easier. He ALSO liked Aaron Sorkin, which is awesome because we chatted about Charlie Wilson's war for a few minutes. Ha, same thing with the other interview: we both ended up liking comic books, so we talked about those for a while. Lawlz.

Anywho, he had some good stories, so even if I don't get in, it was good for all of the interesting stuff that I found out.

(But NOT good for the nerves. Stress is baddddddd.)

Ahhhhhh went from one entry asking why I sucked so much, to THIS entry right before a college interview from Harvard in 30 minutes. Actually, that doesn't really change anything because they pretty much interview everyone, but I've heard that because everyone gets an interview, they place more basis on it then simply having it as a formality.

Yeah, I don't know. It's just what I've heard.

I've prepared the school newspapers that I've gotten my artwork published in and some of my sample essays (as well as a copy of my National Achievement certificate) but argghhh I left my sax t school, and the guy said on the phone that a performance could be included in the interview. But I don't like to play alone and I didn't have any solos prepared (just an ensemble that I'm working on with my friends) when he called which was only TWO DAYS AGO and I really think they should have some sort of ONE WEEK NOTICE thing.

There's the piano but OH GOD I don't want to play the piano for anybody. I suck so bad at it. It's because I have sausage-fingers, that's why. >:(

Soooooo good luck to me, I guess. *crosses fingers and prays not to say something stupid*

Dear God,

Why do I suck?

More specifically, why do some people (like me) suck more than others? If you love us all equally, why must so many of us be tormented by our permanent suckitude?

I pretty sure I'm failing calculus (though I still hold out some magical hope for a B), I still haven't turned in all of my college apps, and the #3 ranked person in our graduating class just announced that he's gotten in to one of the colleges I'm applying to. I'm NUMBER EIGHTY NINE. A rank that will most likely fall after this marking period. I have an 89.2% in AP Government and Politics. ASIDFIOSDFHIASFHASHIARGH WHY DO I SUCK.

In other news, I bought a messenger bag for six bucks that I plan to paint on, and unlike before when I randomly bought these three canvas bags (that I ended up giving away), I actually have an idea of what I'm going to paint on it. Yayyyy.

Now I have to study for midterms, which were moved to the begging of this year because the people who designed our schedules this year obviously suffer from some sort of mental deficiency. CALCULUS (sdfhioas;hfiahfweuiqlhilqw) and Goverment (slighlty less JISFOISDJF;JADSFA, but still fairly ISDOAF;DASFADFHIADSHFASD in its own right). Our teacher says that a 40% on the Calculess (aha get it. less?.... okay, it's better than that number #3 kid I mentioned earlier calling it fag-ulus. he's such a spazzzz...) is a good grade, and since there's 45 questions, I'd have to get eighteen of 'em right. And our Calculus teacher always curves ridiculously, so at least that helps.

The kid mentioned in the previous entry (the one who is transferring schools) had his last day today. I gave him a small present full of snacks (which is, quite frankly, all I can afford at this very moment. Well, I'll I'm willing to spend, that is). ;___; I'm miss him. He's a nice kid, really.

And so, onward toward studying and the brink of limitless despair with calculus! (Ahaha. Get it? Limitless? Calculus? HA!)

So a close friend of mine is transferring schools because of the excessive bullying he suffers at our own school. What appalls me is that this sort of thing never happens at our school: bullying just never seems to exist outright.

 

But really pisses me off is that this kid (like most unfortunate targets) has done absolutely nothing to warrant such hate toward him. People who were friends with him before are peer-pressured into disliking him, and our whole band (previously like a family unit to him) has turned against him, and has played a major role in his decision to change schools. They put locks on his locker and call him humiliating names and generally act like dicks toward him. I’m disgusted at how cruel teenagers can be, sometimes.

 

What irks me the most is that I know I’m indirectly a part of it. Though I’ve always thought of him like a little brother, I’ve made jabs and jibes at him that are playful coming from me, but have caught on with other people and twisted around to become hurtful remarks. I also feel father guilty because I felt I could have been there for him more often, and been a support, at least.

 

The absolute worst thing about the whole situation is the fact that he was beaten up IN his first period a teacher present, and his aggressors were never punished. His first class is in the hallway next to mine, so even though it’s implausible that I might have been there to defend him (though I don’t think being protected by a girl would do much for his ego), I still feel guilty about it. The whole situation is quite ridiculous and I wish I could help more, but his last day before he switches schools is on Monday. There’s nothing I can do.

 

I’ve never been the victim of any bullying (despite the occasional scathing remarks that are promptly ignored), and I’m still willing to kick ass when anyone tries to mess with my friends. You know… as soon as I find out who they are.

 

I want to get him something as a going-present, so I think I’ll just buy him a bundle of his favorite candy and get him a card. Maybe something a bit more personal if I can find something suitable.

Still so angry. :(

Ugh... college applications argh.... they're all done but the feelings of dread remain.

School started back up today, and I think I'm doing well in most respects, except calculus. I think I'm failing that. ;__; Alas, the midterm exam will be terrible if I don't come in afterschool every day for this week. But after everyone else leaves, I leave too, because it's kind of awkward staying alone with the calculus teacher. Not the he's a bad guy (I mean, he watches Naruto... he CAN'T be too bad), but it's just a bit... odd.

Anyways, I just have to turn in my stuff in art. Which is four concentration pieces and, like, two other pieces of art. ARGHHH I should stop procrastinating.

I did a meme thing on personalities:

Ahaha I totally agree with the paranoia thing.


There was some cool stuff people showed off in art class, so I was feeling inspired... and then I went home and slept for three hours. SO much for inspiration. :P

Have to go bed. And I only just started, too. :(

...we will GO where our dreams come true, you will always be my best friiiiend. (This song always makes me sad inside, for some reason.)

Ehhh trying out some new anime to pass the time. Also start my job tomorrow! :D

We went to a birthday party for my uncle yesterday. Not only was it in a community in the middle of Nowheresville, but the novelty of the whole thing wore off when we got stuck waiting until around 1:00 in the morning waiting for our parents to come out of the place so we could all get home. Food was all right, but that's about it.

No new art today. :( Haven't gotten to draw for a while.

...all I've got to do is BELIEVE!

Lately I've gotten stuck on Pokemon... again. I can't help it: that show makes me so nostalgic for the old days. Some days I just wish I could go off on a Pokemon journey and spend my time doing all that crazy stuff like training and capturing Pokemon with a group of friends, instead of going to school and getting some boring desk job. :( But, alas, tis not so...

I've also recently gotten addicted to Yu-Gi-Oh - The Abridged Series for some inane reason. A guy basically redubbed Yu-Gi-Oh, making it shorter, simpler, and sweeter. XD My favorite episode would probably have to be Episode 10, because of the incredibly awesome Shaft cameo and Yu-Gi-Oh DMX. I laughed so hard I cried. :P

ANYWAYS I got my AP exams results back. I got a five in both AP U.S. History and AP English Language and Composition! Yay! That means I can ditch more classes in college! (lawlz) But seriously, it's pretty cool.

I've decided to cosplay to Anime Festival Orlando as Kitsurubami from FLCL and Gidget from Eureka Seven. I've never cosplayed before, but it seems like it would make the con experience even more fun. (I swear I'm not a nerd! XD)

No new pictures today (except the one that I posted over at the Altona Braver community. Yeppp. :D

Got the job!!!! Wooooo, it's from 8:30 A.M. - 4:00 P.M. on weekdays for two weeks. It's awesome because it ends before band camp starts (and I'll also be able to save enough for Anime Festival Orlando. But more than that, I get to work in church with kids. Awwwww. :)


( Picturesss! )

So I start next Monday. :) I'm hoping that I do well, because you never can tell with these things. I'm helping one of the supervisors with a "Tech Arts" program, which is like digital cameras and slideshows (yay!) so I should be able to handle it. Should being the key word. You can never tell with kids. XD

AAAAhhhh it's nice to be out of school. I finally got a job interview (at church, though, so I suppose it's not exactly a real job, per say). Still, though, the hours are super awesome. I hope I get it. :(

Everyone in my family has been asking me about college. I honestly have no idea where I want to go or what I want to do. :( I wish I could wake up one day and suddenly have an idea for a career that will make me good money and be fun, too. Unfortunately, those are really hard to find, apparently.


( Some art! )

Birthday was July 1st. I got a cell phone (finally!) from my parents and Rogue Galaxy from my awesome-sauce sister. Money from my grandmother, and we were all supposed to go out to the Cheesecake Factory but we pushed it back until tomorrow, and then my dad said he'd have to come back from business on Friday instead of Wednesday, and there's a party that our family has to go to on Saturday, so I guess next week it is. :(

Here's to hoping I get this job! *crosses fingers*